The Hairy Ones!

So today, I barely know where to begin, I am quite stuck for words (unusually).
 
Frieda and I are working on the boat cleaning, I am working very hard to take my mind off all the bloody mosquito bites, kneeling on the dock scrubbing the deck cushions and people walk along the dock and see me and gasp "OMG what happened to you?"
My legs are so bad, I look disgusting, I want to cry, then a lady Frieda met at the airport came past and stopped to chat with Frieda, she looks at my legs and says "what happened?"  as if it isn't bloody obvious, "mosquitoes" I replied,  "OH I never get bitten" she said smiling smugly, I wonder at her reply, is that supposed to make me feel better?
My legs are cleanly shaven, and I use skin cream to keep my skin soft, so perhaps I am just too tasty to resist for the mosquitoes, then I pay a little more attention to her, she is in a shoestring tank top and shorts, and has more hair than a gorilla.  I have never seen such a hairy woman, all over her legs, back and front and as far up as... well fortunately I can't see that far, perhaps she has to tuck the hair into pockets, long hair under her arms, ugh it was truly disgusting, no wonder the mosquitoes don't bite her it must be like trekking through a jungle, especially when they have me just down the dock all cleanly shaved and soft, it makes their work easy.
Then the husband arrives, he has more hair than ZZ Top, huge beard, long gray hair down his back, so much hair I can hardly see his face, when he speaks I can't even see the mouth move.
As much as I am in pain, and itch, and can't sleep I will continue to shave and moisturize, because Heaven forbid I should ever look so hairy!