My Nemesis

Once securely anchored in the safe, calm confines of Portobelo bay, and surrounded by the beautiful jungle on three sides, the horrors of the last two and a half hours could perhaps be easily forgotten by some.  But I was still shaking, I felt quite ill from nervous exhaustion.  Poor Bob was soaked and covered with salt; his face was red with windburn and stinging from all the sea spray.  Once again I have to question “WHY”, why do people do this?  Yes there are some good times, but for me the bad times are beginning to far outweigh the good.

Portobelo old town

While Bob showered and put clean dry clothes on I opened a bottle of wine and started dinner, I was cooking roast chicken with roast potatoes, pigeon peas in coconut, carrots and a rich dressing, while dinner was in the oven I sat on deck with a glass of wine, and read my book, in an attempt to relax.

It is really beautiful here, and yes it’s a much nicer place than the flats to spend time, but given the choice I would still be alongside at Shelter bay. The price I paid to get here was way too high!

The old fort at Portobelo

Bob is convinced that if I learn more about the technicalities of sailing it will help me in dealing with my anxieties. But the older I get the more I see danger everywhere, and everyone I meet is just so keen to tell me their horror stories; bad things happen, no matter how experienced, knowledgeable, or well equipped you are, it’s just the way it is, but we all make our choices, and are prepare to deal with the risks to follow our passions.  Sadly, sailing is not my passion it’s become my life’s nemesis.

Tuesday January 3^rd 2012

Lovely morning here in Portobelo, the wind is still blowing, but that keeps us cool.  Bob is going to work on the salon window as the weather reports are predicting rain, and considering their history of accuracy that probably means it will be sunny and dry all day, we’ll see. 

My feelings today towards leaving the boat are unchanged, the horrors of yesterday are still fresh in my mind, this may well be my last trip on Daisy, and so while I’m here in Portobelo bay I intend to enjoy it as much as possible.

Pirate ship in the bay

This morning we woke to the sound of the howler monkeys, and parrots, the jungle looks so beautiful from where we are, Daisy is bobbing gently on the calm water, yes I could contentedly stay here a long time, well at least a couple of weeks.  With the weather like this I can read, write, paint, and do chores on the boat quite happily.  We have plenty of provisions and opportunity to relax. But each time I look out towards the mouth of the bay to the open ocean beyond my heart skips a beat, and the anxiety returns as I know in not so many days we have to head back out.  God help me…

Note:  as we predicted it stayed dry all day :o)