Taking back the Reins

My life (emotionally) has been spinning out of control recently, as I've felt engulfed by the mountain of work facing me. Sometimes we have to be beaten down in order to find our way back up. I alone created this albatros, and I've allowed myself to become completely overwhelmed to a point where I can't make sense of anything. It's really important to know when to say enough is enough, deal with what you can handle and the rest will still be there tomorrow. I can relate the feeling to riding a horse, where I've lost the reins and my horse is galloping head first towards a cliff-face, while I'm aboard just barely holding on, crying and feeling sorry for myself, instead of fighting to take back control, grabbing the reins and steering away from the cliff. I've told myself to stop, take a deep breath, and look at the situation I'm faced with, so I can decide upon a "do-able" course of action. There's no one waiting to rescue me. No one really cares about my mountain of work or impossible schedule, or threatened nervous breakdown. Everyone has their own list of issues to deal with, their own pile of crap and problems. A strong person just gets on with it. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am, although I haven't felt it recently. I think, at least I hope, that I started to do that today, well a little bit anyway. I created this huge impossible list of jobs, that need to fit into this rediculously impossible schedule, so basically I should be able to redo it. I'm here in one of the most beautiful islands in the world, and all I can do is feel sorry for myself, because I can't cope with my self imposed work load, how pathetic am I? Life isn't easy for anyone, I know that and life doesn't owe us a living either, nothing is handed to us on a silver platter. We are what we are, and we create our own happiness, as my daughter Daniela is constantly telling me. How brilliant am I that I gave birth to such a wise child! Well actually all three of my children are clever and wise, how did I manage that? maybe it was Bob's input, or maybe I actually had something to do with it. I really have to stop putting myself down. My first phase in improving my situation here was to move into one of the lovely resort cottages.

Daisy's Cottage

Dining Table on the porch

The View

Living room

The lovely, air conditioned bedroom

Galley style kitchen. For info on this fabulous resort go to www.lepharebleu.com - Now I have somewhere to escape the boat, and I'm no longer constantly faced with all the work I have to do. Another huge bonus of moving, is that I'm not breathing in the fumes from all the chemicls I'm using all day. I've been having headaches the last few days and the warnings on the product tell you how dangerous it is to breathe in the fumes. I just don't know how to apply the product without breathing in the fumes!!! Anyway, I'm now very happily situated in a beautiful little cottage, and I'm staying in Grenada another 10 days. Being able to leave the boat and come back to such (fume free) luxury is just wonderful. I feel like a different person, and don't even mind going to work on the boat all day when I can come back here and relax every afternoon… Why didn't I do this before?