Airline Travel, What a Joy!

I actually remember the days when traveling was fun, it was easy and totally stress free, we could just buy a ticket, and jump on a plane carrying whatever we wanted.  We could even check as many bags as we liked without incurring all those  expensive extra charges we face today.

Travel really isn’t much fun at all these days, I’m referring to all the stress inflicted upon us, us of course being the traveler, stress brought about through all the(necessary) airport security .  The innocent traveler passing through airport security today is made to feel much like an inmate from a prison, rounded up and marched in an orderly line to face the firing squad.  While little Hitler’s in uniforms shout and yell instructions at us, and lord their power over us like prison guards

Once we’ve removed our shoes, hats, coats and belts, and emptied our pockets of keys, phones and coins, removed the Mac from the bag, taken off our jewelry, and wished we hadn’t worn the underwire bra that day.   We tiptoe barefoot through the x-ray machine, that probably emits damaging radiation, doing God only knows what to our bodies, and always beeps, probably because of the underwire bra.  Then we're subjected to standing arms out while some 12 year old in a uniform runs their hands over your body, and up your skirt, and some purvey looking guy is watching the screen and probably lusting after the naked body he’s seen through the x-ray screens, and all this before we attempt to collect our belongings that are piling up at the end of the conveyor belt, and are probably being grabbed by security for extra checks, because we left a forgotten tube of toothpaste in the bottom of the bag.  

I’m always throughly exhausted, and horribly sweaty before I even begin the marathon trek to the departure gate, which has more often than not been changed to another terminal at least 30 minutes walk from the original gate.  I have yet to board a plane while not in a sweaty horrible mess, all attempts at nice hair, and perfectly applied make up are totally blown out the window,  you're a mess before you take off. 

Once finally on board you discover that the exit isle seat you requested, and was confirmed by the ticketing agent at the desk, is in fact the middle seat near the back of the plane no where near the exit isle, and all the overhead bins are full, so you have to stuff your carryon under your seat, giving you no leg room at all, and then you find you're sat squashed between two fat people that fart.

But, just incase idiot ticketing agents,  airport security, and gate changes weren’t enough to stretch your tolerance level’s to the limit, you then discover that you have a family sitting in the seat’s behind, with a small child that thinks its great fun to kick the  crap out of the back of your seat, and bang the tray table up and down because it likes the noise it makes, and then proceed to scream at the top of it’ s lungs for the entire rest of the trip. 

OH the joys of airline travel…