Cruise Ship Guest’s

I’m always looking for things that amuse me, and living on board they’re not always hard to find, particularly when we are in a port where cruise ships come in.

The arrival of a cruise ship to an island resembles a crowd leaving a stadium, the quiet little streets are suddenly swarming with people; Bob jokingly refers to it as “the invasion of the body snatcher’s.  Cruise ships are wonderful for the local economy, but they’re arrival creates an entirely different atmosphere on a small island.

 I apologize now for those of you that like cruising, because I know that you don’t all fit into the category I’m about to write about.

We’ve all seen the commercials on TV and in magazines, and the billboards promoting cruise’s, the beautiful people, strolling the empty decks, with a cocktail in one hand while watching a beautiful sunset, the gorgeous girls in bikini’s lounging around the pool, all glamorous, gorgeous and young!  Where do these people come from because I can tell you they are not on any of the cruise ships I have seen, at least not in the Caribbean? 

Typically a cruise ship guest will fit one of 3 profiles;  the overfed, newly wed and nearly dead. The nearly dead being obviously quite old, ancient even, frail looking and thin, with beige pressed shorts and brand new white socks pulled up over their calves, and large brimmed hats protecting their whiter than white skin.

Then there’s the overfed; middle aged and overweight, with obscenely bright floral Hawaiian shirts, baseball caps, and shorts that they really shouldn’t be wearing, they resemble the colorful characters in a Beryl Cook painting, in fact I’m sure cruise ship guests are where she got much of the inspiration for her painting’s. 
Then there's the newly wed ........................... not much to say about them, no one ever sees them!

Cruise ship guests also typically have very pale skin with scattered patches of painfully bright pink sunburn, strap marks and bald patches that look like the target on a dart board.

I see them in their hundreds being shuttled ashore in groups, and piling into the islands colorfully painted tour bus’s lined up waiting on the dock.

I’m not trying to offend anyone, my intention really is not to be cruel, and I did start by saying that not everyone fits these three profiles.  However after 4 years of living in the Caribbean and having seen thousands of cruise ship guests, I have to say the vast majority does.

I love people watching, and watching cruise ship guests provides me with endless entertainment, but also I’m constantly searching for the beautiful people, they must be there somewhere, they can’t only be on the billboards and commercials or can they?